Saving Face
Tomorrow will be three weeks since Vespa go boom. My good friend Crashiepoo emailed me a couple of days ago and implied that “being scared shitless” would be an entirely acceptable reaction to the whole ordeal.
Here's a recap:
- 17th Street MUNI rails derail me.
- Vespa goes down the street on its side
- I go down the street at an angle, the tire of a parked car graciously stopping me by thudding haltingly into my left ribs
- beautiful, wonderful San Franciscans come to my aid.
- Medics take me to San Francisco General Hospital
- Firemen take my Vespa to Firehouse #6
- Mmmmmmmm, fireminz
- I am in hospital for more than a week, to the following Saturday, January 7
- For the first three days in SFGH, I am on morphine with a PCA button for extra boluses
- For the remainder, I am on vicodin and “morphini's”
- I am still taking Vicodin, though a weaning off of it was interrupted by a sinus thing and sneezing
- Sneezing? It fucking hurts when you have three fractured ribs!
- I drove today for the first time. It hurt my shoulder
I mention all this because I wasn't ever scared shitless until I noticed that my helmet somehow found its way back to my house—Sam is literally right now telling me how it got home. I guess we had a conversation about it my first day in the hospital, but I absolutely don't remember it.
And, to be precise, it wasn't when I noticed the helmet, it was when I noticed the scratches on the helmet. Click on the image for more detail.
Had I not been wearing the helmet, who knows how much of my face 17th Street would have nabbed. Had I not been wearing the helmet, I'm sure my head would have landed hard on the pavement. I mean, so much of my identity is tied up in being a pretty man, what kind of therapy would I have had to go through to live without that going for me? Huh? HUH?
Ahem.
So I did get scared about all of this, but much after the fact. Sam's been driving me around and I'm very skittish in traffic. I look at rails and it takes a second to reassure myself I'm in a car and not on two wheels. The Vespa shop called today with news about my P200E, and my first reaction was “not yet!”
Last week I did manage to pick up my bifocals progressive-lens glasses. There's a pic there for you to see.
The visible/tangible/physical injuries are well on their way to healing. The intangibles are now making themselves evident now that the narcotic fog has lifted. I'm sure those will heal in time. My sense of abundance is making itself evident as well. That'll help.
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Comments
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Happen to stumble onto your blog about three weeks ago. I was reviewing my friend's blog, ROBLOG, and saw that he had you listed as a read. So went checking it out. I had found the reading interesting and could see that there was a fair amount of 'civil' debating going back and forth. I haven't been back to your site until tonight to fully catchup and read your articles.
What do I see and read - you've been in an accident.
Glad to hear that you are healing well. The psychological elements will heal, just be patient, and expect that you may have to face some of them square on if they linger. [This must of all been happening when up visiting my friend (aka Roblog) in SF NewYears weekend and helping him move. Anyway that's a side issue.]
Keep a positive attitude!
Posted by: Tony | January 19, 2006 10:45 AM
I think you should have said, "how much of your head would 17th street have grabbed", in so far as the helmet, you could have saved it from having scratches on it by not wearing it....your head must be harder than that helmet. :)
Posted by: sam Barbose | January 20, 2006 04:51 AM
Man o man...I've got to get out more! This is news to me...sorry to hear about your ribs...ow, ow , ow...been there. I bet you are hype-aware of your breath control.
Quite the nervous system shockeroo too. Future winces...my god. what the human succeeds in weathering.
Good healing to you, dear sir.
Posted by: cul | January 20, 2006 04:58 AM
I am glad you were wearing your helmet too, not just cause of your prettyface, but because of your pretty brain. It seems to function better inside your head.
That being said.... Don't worry about being scared.. It's a normal part of the process, and don't worry about it being late. We all do it on our own time. For now, just do what ya can, and know the rest will come soon.
YAY for driving.
Posted by: sillynun | January 20, 2006 07:26 AM
Clearly there IS a God, and he saved your face, just for all of us!!!
PS---I have a sense of abundance too, but it usually comes from looking at my belly!! ;-)
Posted by: BatmanSF | January 20, 2006 07:34 AM
And just look at what a cutie you ended up being! From the looks of you, everyone should dump their vespas!
(OK, OK, you were cute before - don't correct my flawed logic or I'll poke you like the Pillsbury Doughboy just to see if you giggle)
Posted by: Josh | January 20, 2006 08:46 AM
Good thing you weren't wearing one of those half-shell helmets.Though that would probably look a bit strange on a Vespa anyway.
Posted by: Mike | January 20, 2006 10:33 AM
>>>>
PS. I'll ditto everyone's comments about it being a good thing that you were wearing a helmut. Trust me, you may have imagined what that handsome face of yours would have looked like but it is not the same as seeing it, having it, and experiencing.
I recently left the insurance field (a large carrier based on Van Ness in SF) after 18 years of handling personal injury cases, litigation, etc. The sights I saw were not pretty.
Anyway...most important is that you're one of the smart ones out there wearing a 'full' helmut. :) Those half helmuts can be just as suicidal as not wearing one!
Posted by: Tony | January 20, 2006 10:51 AM
The new glasses look great. As far as the Vespa goes, maybe some conditioning therapy would help. Fear is mental. Of course, that angst may be saying something. Like, forget two wheeled vehicles.
Anyway, it's all gonna work out. I'll keep reading.
Posted by: Giovanni | January 21, 2006 05:41 AM