Learn From It

It has often been said that anything may be proved from the Bible; but before anything can be admitted as proved by the Bible, the Bible itself must be proved to be true; for if the Bible be not true, or the truth of it be doubtful, it ceases to have authority, and cannot be admitted as proof of anything.

-- Thomas Paine

1. I am the Lord your God, you shall not have other gods before me. Sloppy seconds is up to you.
2. That Leonardo was a fine sculptor, but ohh, what he did to my bust.
3. Not happy with 'in vain', but for a particularly well-executed orgasm, have at it!
4. Try to take the weekends off.
5. Your mom and dad are cooler than you think; cut 'em a break will ya?
6. Respect other peoples' existence, eh?
7. Respect other people's relationships, even if you don't understand them.
8. Don't steal music. [ok, that was actually Steve. — Eds]
9. Don't think I won't come find you if you make shit up and attribute it to me, mmmkay?
10. Try to be happy with what you have, and be happy for others when they have abundance.

God here. The Biscuit One. Now, I've been called a 'moral relativist', as if that's a bad thing or even a possible thing. As I've learned it, or figured it, or concluded it (I'm a known relativist, remember?), morals almost always arise from epidemiology. Something becomes a moral only after it's been elevated from a cautionary item (e.g., under-cooked pork is bad) to edict (e.g., God hates it when you don't keep kosher). Morals, in this light, are past-minded: codifications of learned prudent behavior.

Ethics, on the other hand, speak to positivity, to the future...be kind to a stranger and perhaps someone will someday return the favor one day. Honor, truth, decency. Things that, when above certain threshold, push us all into el mundo bueno and life becomes easier for all. A rising tide raises all boats, that sort of thing.

Watch for the change up, chil'rens. When Christians speak of this country being a supposed Christian Nation, they'll switch to the phrase “Judeo Christian Ethic” and away from “Christian Morality” because a) who could disagree with ethical behavior? and b) they've forgotten that once upon a time, their Commandments used to be just good advice.