Learn From It

Or course it's about being gay, Gary. Are you just plain stupid? When was the last time you saw a constitutional ammendment banning your decision to own a 4x4, or a beagle, or to dye the grey out of your beard. "Gay" is an issue because it's being used to define something to be legislated against.

I'm sure the Beagle owners of America would throw someone out of the organization if they caught them heading up a ban on dog parks. Unfortunately, we don't have an official membership wing, or we'd have sent Gurley packin a long time ago. Then again, being gay is about what you are, not what you do, so I guess I can't demand a membership card. Pity.

Last I checked, we weren't the ones who solely defined ourselves by being gay. But religious extremists and political conservatives (I may be repeating myself there) are more than eager to do just that.

There is also the fact that Gurley's private behavior does not match up with his public face. People can be complex, often contradictory creatures, but that's called being a hypocrite.

He's a gurley-man!

So everyone has to be solely defined by being gay? I maybe naieve but not everyone lives in the gay ghettos or is comfortable with that. My boyfriend and I have a super suburban lifestyle where most of our friends are straight and we are happy. The thing is that not everyone who is gay has to feel that their only views can be moderated only by being gay. One almost might come to the conclusion that if these folks are willing to look beyond their own self interest that maybe they really believe in what they are doing.

I guess at the end of all of this I just really hope with the whole outing thing people aren't lowering themselves. If someone is struggling with their character everyone else acting at the same level doesn't make it better.

If people are struggling with their own issues, do they have to drag the rest of us down with them?

As far as believing in what they do, you mean like hate groups and Islamic extremists?

Gurley's a public figure that has figured significantly in laws and attitudes that SPECIFICALLY ABRIDGE YOU.

I don't give a good goddamn if you want to be married, or if you don't. You don't get to choose. So what you want, actually, doesn't really matter.

Enjoy your "super suburban" lifestyle, Gary. Enjoy living at the suffrance of your tolerant friends.

This is about defending one's self from an attacker by rendering the attacker impotent.

Being a hypocrite or not I don't know if openly dogging people like that helps.

It seems that one the whole a sea change needs to occur that going after some sad people will not effect.

I think showing the strength of our experience is far greater than bringing someone further down.

I'm happy with the friends I have and my boyfriend and I are doing well. Things aren't perfect but when are they ever? I think the thing is that making our strong relationships the counterarguement might be a better tact than doing things that are in essence negative (like outing, even when people are hypocrites.)

I'm sorry this provokes so much ire but honestly we need to convince people in red states and outing like this doesn't show strong relationships giving an arguement for marriage rights.

Gary, you're missing exactly the point I was making. Had this guy not been politically and publically motivated to bring harm to people JUST LIKE HIM, there would be no moral or ethical basis for exposing anything about him.

If one of your neighbors was stealing from everyone, then turning around and complaining about the rise in crime in your neighborhood, wouldn't you feel obligated to expose the thief?

How can this be considered outing? Gurley has posted his picture on a gay website. Doesn't one have to be hiding to be outed?

That's exactly the point, Dennis. Any investigative journalist would have discovered this guy fairly easily.

And they didn't report on it.

Gary,

You are delusional if you believe that being gay does not largely define who you are....you have no choice in the matter. I am not referring to your disdain for the gay community or lifestyle. It's clear you do not indentify with such a repugnant bunch. I'm certain you are very bourgeois, and have no interest in challenging the norm. In that respect, no, you are not gay. However, your interst in a same sex relationship has been defined by our culture as "gay" , which implies things like you are not fit to parent a child. Not quite as respectable as your straight friends huh. You are gay, and it means more than having sex with another man. You have no choice in that matter.

You seem to be satisfied with the level of acceptance we have obtained. Congratulations. I doubt those of your character had anything to do with getting us here in the first place. If that were that case, Gary, you would probably be sucking dick in a bathroom stall at the bowling alley before returning home to the wife and kids. Although you probably completely lack the ability to critically examine anything unfamiliar to you, should you ever consider why the larger gay population holds you in such contempt, the answer would simply be because you are an ingrate, and as of recent, a fucking liability.